Funniest User Reviews from the SonicState Archives: Ensoniq ESQ-1

Many years ago Sonic State set up a "synth site" where members of the public could share their opinions on popular synthesizers; showering praise or venting their frustrations in a collection of mini reviews. I've recently commenced my dive in to this time capsule of synthesized social history and wanted to share the mirth and nostalgia buried within.

You can experience the archive for yourselves by visiting https://sonicstate.com/synth/ and then scrolling down to this section:

Today, take a look at Ensoniq's ESQ-1, an exciting breakthrough instrument from 1986. In fact, so many of Ensoniq's early instruments pushed the envelope in terms of affordability & features. in 1986, where a Prophet VS might set you back £1,895, the ESQ-1 cost a mere £1,115 (which is still nearly £4,000 in 2025 money!) and boasted comparable features, plus a shared VCF (CEM 3379).

The VS does sound a little classier and defined than the ESQ-1 (12-bit vs 8-bit), but loses out to the Ensoniq on features like sequencing (the ESQ-1 can store 24,000 notes), synthesis tools like Sync & AM, plus a very flexible modulation system. Robert Yannes - designer of the SID chip, created the 5503 Digital Oscillator Circuit that powered the ESQ-1, Mirage (another price breakthrough, this time in sampling!) & SQ80, changing synthesis forever.

The ESQ-1 is regarded as a classic these days, what did our reviewers think 20-25 years ago? It doesn't start off well I'm afraid. ESQ-1 worse than Hitler, read all about it.

"There are very few things in life that have no redeeming features. For example Mussolini, a man responsible for the unprovoked invasion of Abyssinia and many other atrocities made the Italian trains run on time. Hitler invented the motorway and gave Germany its national health system.....The same cannot be said of the ESQ-1. Out of a sonic arsenal of 24 synthesizers it is the only one that I have sold simply because I could not find a use for it. No matter what you do with it the ESQ-1 will always sound thin and weedy, not fitting in with any mix at all well. The sequencer is basically redundant, who else, apart from the occasional vagrant who has no access to a copy of Cubase and an old Atari STE? Of course it has to be said that sound is subjective and so maybe you should check one out for yourself. But definitely, DEFINITELY don't buy one without making sure you like it's "unique" sound first."

Further compounding the Vagrant's choice narrative, this colourful review laments upon the unit's reliability:

"One problem - it crashes like a bastard. If it ever crashes and tells you to press a key, DON'T! Just switch it off and on again, otherwise the the little beggar will wipe all the sequencer memory."

To be honest, it sounds like most flaky 1980's equipment! We're into neutral territory now, where the personality of the instrument is becoming apparent:

"My first "real" synth. I put a LOT of miles on mine until I got my Korg Trinity. Now it's smoked, 'cause I tried to save all my old tape data on the Trinity and the ESQ crashed bad while loading some bad tape data. Very susceptible to dirty power and cold--mine was useless for half of each winter and took forever to warm up during the other half. Like someone else said, it's muddy rather than fat, but all around an excellent board for the price."

I must admit, the instrument's fickleness reminds me of my own, I'm also useless in winter and take a while to "warm up" in the mornings! But what's that now, here's a direct challenge to the ESQ-1's reputed flakyness!

"My ESQ has been through hell over the years. It was knocked to the floor one time and a 100 pound main speaker came crashing down on it breaking several keys and breaking the circuit board under the lid from its mount. The repair center had to epoxy the keys back together because no new owners were available. It still plays fine and never misses a thing. If you want a real rugged keyboard, this is the one for you!!!"

Sounds like this guy escaped with his life! Another live boon; the screen!

"I can't tell you how valuable the flouressant screen is in life situations! YOU CAN READ THE FUCKER FROM 50 FEET AWAY!."

Great stuff, but what's that? I hear the familiar decrying of 1-button dance music devices!

"If you are into deep house and trippy deep dark music then check out this board
Yes the preset are rubbish
But what it can do...puts many more expensive and pretentious cringe
get one before they become the next trendy piece of electro
An incredible value as I picked up mine for $500 US.
Ah I love a good synth...
no more rave o matic crap..."

Rave-o-matic crap! I think I'll add that one to my everyday vernacular. Anyhow, we are in the realm of the bizarre, it may be possible to like your synthesizer a little too much.

"This one is a very "sexy" synth. First of all, even unplugged, I love it because it looks eighties, and it's impressive the quality of construction of this synth. For instance, the modulation wheel is a delight to use, and it's important what you got under your fingers, I think it influences the way you play. But the most magnificent thing is the screen. Have you ever seen such an alien's screen ? In the night.....Oh my god! The sound ain't extremely dynamic, and this synth tends to make dirty sounds sometimes, U don't really know why, even with halfway resonance or less..."

Sexy, dirty sounds in the night huh? You'd think that this review had peaked, but it ends with some kind of existential crisis:

"This synth belongs to one of those disappeared species U don't really know a lot about, but when U hear'em screaming distorted sounds far away in the jungle cos' they've lost their family, U start crying too."

10/10, applause, roses. Anyhow, thanks for joining me on this journey to the past! I'll leave you with a greeting from another Ensoniq review..."Later, synth cadets & ivory ticklers & all you other hackers...!"

Posted by MagicalSynthAdventure an expert in synthesis technology from last Century and Amiga enthusiast.

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