Funniest User Reviews from the SonicState Archives: Korg Pt.2

Many years ago Sonic State set up a "synth site" where members of the public could share their opinions on popular synthesizers; showering praise or venting their frustrations in a collection of mini reviews. I've recently commenced my dive in to this time capsule of synthesized social history and wanted to share the mirth and nostalgia buried within.

You can experience the archive for yourselves by visiting https://sonicstate.com/synth/ and then scrolling down to this section:

Today we consider perhaps the best-selling synth of all time, 2002's MicroKORG. Based on (and marginally cut down from) the fantastic MS2000, the ubiquitous Micro actually features a bunch of worthwhile & quirky synthesis options. There's Ringmod, Xmod, Sync, the "Vox" formant wave and a bunch of interesting single-cycle DWGS waveforms, in addition to standard VA fare.

Despite this fairly deep engine, editing is not the friendliest - leading most owners to simply pick a preset and tweak at those macro knobs. Weowwww. Other factors like the naive genre knob and the MK's wild popularity caused some serious synthesizer players to reject the MicroKORG - a prop for Indie bands who need to give the lead singer something to do during an instrumental section.

I guess that's the nature of ubiquity - praise and ire are attracted in equal amount.

Dr Chill & the Ambient Ambulance was certainly a fan of the new instrument:

"Tried it, bought it, love it. Anyone calling it a toy for poor people or other bs gets paid by competitors. The Microkorg delivers 100% if you want to have virtual analogue synth fun (plus vocoder fx), and it's useful for serious soundscape design, too. I added it up to my YAMAHA DJX-1 (PSR-D1 for the highbrows, another ultra cheap classic funkeyboard, not to be confused with it's "successor" DJX-II, erm...) plus CUBASICS for Windows. A combination that's hard to challenge at a mere 600.- € for the new items. Dr Chill and the Ambient Ambulance, nuff said."

Sadly, Dr Chill is not on Youtube. I was really curious to hear this "of it's time" Cubasis, DJX & MicroKORG setup. It sounds like the kind of setup that people say they made their "best work" on. He wasn't the only fan of the MicroKORG:

"people who slate this synth obviousely have no talent and imgaination.
It is a machine that makes sounds and as such can be used in the creation of music.
It makes good sounds that are highylu useable,those who say its crap should give up music and take up stamp collecting.
Great synth,cheap as chips and sounds cool."

I really like the line "it is a machine that makes sounds and as such can be used in the creation of music" as this echoes my own feelings towards most synthesizers - I'll use anything as long as it makes cool sounds - cheap, expensive, toy, pro. But anyhow, we're not really here for glowing reviews, are we? The most exasperated comments are usually the funniest; as you read them, I'd like you to keep this theory, posted by an onlooker, in mind:

"All of the recent 1 star reviews sound like they are written by the same person. They all use the same bad punctuation/grammar, use the same insults towards the MicroKORG and its users, and recommend the same Novation and Nord synths instead. This guy's obviously nursing a serious grudge against this synth."

We have no way of knowing if all of these comments originated from the same source, of course, but it's quite fun to imagine that they did! Let's start with this appraisal of the MicroKORG's well-loved vocoder:

"The vocoder thing is just getting ridiculous. If someone wanted a f-ing vocoder they'd buy one. If they want a SYNTH, they don't go looking for a vocoder. Who gives a flying s about vocoders. How many compositions use one. Too much hype about more or less a toy feature. It's as if the whole godamn synth was defined by it. Godamm kiddies, causing confusion by giving rave reviews based on the least relevant feature of a synth."

It seemed that vocoder use dominated the 2000's electronic music scene, who didn't want to sound like a cool futuristic robot? This guy, apparently!

"If you are brainless and like a 5 year old kid who plays with barbies,buy a Microkorg.
If you want to play and produce professional intelligent electronic music and have fun,destroy your Microkorg and go for a Nordlead 2X or Novation X-Station."

"This weak trash is a horrible nightmare for every professional musican but some people in europe and usa buy it because of the vocoder, the price and the look.
Don't expect good music with this trash."

The (theoretical) one man tirade continues; stepping up in intensity from "Godamm kiddies" to "idiots"!

"this small cheap useless Toy is made for stupid idiots who can not play and program a real synth.
The sound has big aliasing-problem and is very limited. all the other VA's like Novation,Waldorf and Nord are better."

"a VA-Synth with only 4 voice polyphony, very simple oscilator 2 and big aliasing-problem!!??
What the hell is that? is it a joke ?
All the idiots who give it more than 1 point must be stupid and brainless.
Forget this bullshit."

IS IT A JOKE? Next, he starts ragging on poor people and "stupid simple Trance or techno" and I reach into the cupboard for some popcorn:

"This is a cheap toy for very poor people.i am sure that most of them never played or heard a real analog synth.Poor people play with the vocoder and are happy.they don't care about the big aliasing-problem and the low polyphony and all the limitations.they can't buy a better synth for more money.they want only a cheap toy.
For stupid simple Trance or techno it's O.K.
For real music it's useless and waste of time."

And to top it all off, the MicroKORG will objectively make your music fail, apparently!?

"I own a Korg Monopoly and a Korg PS 3100 and both are fantastic timeless analog Monster.
But what about Microkorg ???
Microkorg is a boring digital weak piece of junk.
Somebody said hier that Stars like Moby and Prodigy use toy. The truth is that their last CD's were not successful ! ha hah ha."

"Be careful with this weak toy. Röyksopp did not succeed with their music in the last 5 years and all the other bands who use this Toy sound very crap and boring."

What do you think, were these negative reviews left by a lone skeptic? Let us know which instrument reviews you'd like us to unearth next!

Posted by MagicalSynthAdventure an expert in synthesis technology from last Century and Amiga enthusiast.

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