NAMM: Help Me - My Ears Are Bleeding

US That will be the TX-1 Agonizer      19/01/04

NAMM: Help Me - My Ears Are Bleeding
It even looks nasty

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Well I tried to write some neat concise copy for this nasty unit but I found everything I wrote didn't convey the nastyness as well as their press release. I went to copy the press release. Then to my horror I couldn’t find an electronic version on their web site so here it is – typed by my own fair hand….. There’s just no explaining it. It’s not a damn fuzzbox, it’s not a tube-amp simulator, and it’s not the slightest bit like anything else you’ve ever seen / heard. Think of the TX-1 as a magical 1965-era industrial-music sonic reducer. It screws everything down to a nice, crunchy sonic puree with aluminium shavings and broken glass mixed in. Yum. Please believe me, it’s not a nice, sweet, pussy-pussy vintage tone effect. You simply can’t get a simulation of a Fender Super Reverb out of this horrible yellow box. Trust us. Just thinking about what happens when you crank the STRANGLE knob makes us want to puke blood. Dammit, the thing bears cartoons of naked women torturing fuzzy critters. Isn’t that enough of a blatant warning? We thought of just putting a simple sticker THIS UGLY YELLOW BOX MAKES HORRIBLE SOUNDS, but given the widespread illiteracy of rock-and-roll merchants and a polyglottal worldwide marketplace, we figured a juvenile, hideous visual warning might be more effective. And the press release caries along this vein but I did get to listen to it and it really does make things sound nasty. I’d suggest checking out the Metasonix website for further details and maybe some demos (if your computer can stand it).
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